I get home Sunday and find out that the compressor in my Refrigerator just crapped out. So I had to get all the food out of there before shit start smelling super putrid throughout the whole house. I had a almost a whole chicken in the fridge that I had from the night before. The chicken had been punished but it was still some good yard bird left. Anyway when I trashed the chicken along with some other stuff the trash started leaking. Even know the trash man didn’t come till 2 days later I had to get that shit up out my house. I wasn’t going to be winning any awards on household freshness and aromas, shit was getting ji funky up in that joint.
The next morning I get up and see all this familiar shit all in the middle of the street. It’s my trash! AND it’s a mob of Turkey Vultures around my yard. I mean it is like at least 10 of them. Turkey Vultures are buzzards and are the size of large turkeys and they feed off road kill .I live near the woods so u only see them if a deer or a cat/dog has lost its life on these mean Upper Marlboro streets. I guess since the snow, food has been scarce b/c I had been seeing them fly around the neighborhood. These joints are ji big like hawks. I’m mad, for one I got to clean all this shit and for 2 it could be some personal shit in that trash. I don’t want the neighbors all in my trash. That’s personal. At this point I’m not even thinking about the stand off.
I had to run to Comcast so I’m thinking I’ll deal with that on my way out. I hopped in my truck and figure I would just drive near the them and they will fly away and I can clean this up a bit. I get in the car and beep the horn and these bammas are just casually stepping off not even a lil jog , but they respect this truck. They are doing like dudes do on the block when the police comes, a lil casual walk in the other direction. In the truck, you could truly appreciate the size of these joints. This was not a flock of doves these bammas look damn near 3 ft. I was thinking about taking one out off the vehicular homicide. Ya know, just to let them know I meant business, but nobody wants a dead vulture in the middle their street.
So I get out of the car thinking maybe a Human can scare them off b/c they was not trippin off me being in the truck. I had my shovel with me. If one of them wanted to bust a move ? I was gonna let freedom ring all across this land. So I get out off the car with my shovel and a few flew off but I still got a couple hard heads tryin to be tough.I said “ SKWAW!! SKWAW! Get from round here! This my House! I pay bills round this joint!” Nothing. I look around and finally I see why these jokers are not rolling. I m separating them from the chicken I put in the trash. So I guess they were having the feast of all feasts and I am interrupting them from a once in a lifetime meal. So I’m outside of my car with the shovel and about 5 vultures looking slam at me just a few feet away. I have been making noises embarrassing myself, people are looking out the window and they still don’t budge. These bammas CAN fly so I was kind of weary of an aerial attack .I fugg around and fall in the snow and these bammas would be punishing me to my death.Aint nobody trying to die or be in the hospital from no freak Turkey Vulture accident. Anway, we in the middle of the stand off and one of them comes at me. This bamma says the hell with me and goes str8 for the chicken. His boys follow him and now they are fighting in front of me for the chicken with a whole lot of movement and feathers ruffling and shit, so I just step to the side. The head dude flies off with the stash and they follow and some of the bottom feeders post up on some of my neighbors rooftops. Now, Im dolo with these jokers looking at me from the roof. All could do was just clean that mess up and put the my trash back in the house. I didn’t win that battle.
